To lead or not to lead?
Leadership applications are going on right now. This year, we have 54 CG leaders…Lord willing, we’ll be adding 20-something leaders for next year. It is incredibly important for us to have high-quality leaders…so please ask yourself if there’s anyone in your group who is qualified to be a CG leader. Applying isn’t signing up…it’s just keeping all the doors open. I’ll be interviewing all the applicants and we’ll be making decisions before finals!
Here are some characteristics of leaders. An individual certainly wouldn’t have to have all of these, but the more they have, the more likely it is that they would be fit for leadership.
What do the sheep need?
The Bible is filled with imagery of shepherds and sheep. We see the concept of a pastor being the shepherd over his flock (the church). He must constantly be asking himself what the sheep need, and this becomes the basis for his vision and decisions.
As a small group leader, much of your responsibility is pastoral. Being a CG leader is not about coasting…you must be attentive to the needs of group members. I’ve been realizing lately how important it is to be a pastorally-minded leader. Here’ are some thoughts. Pastorally-minded leaders:
The students in your group are more than just names on a roster. You’ve been given the responsibility to lead them in their spiritual growth. What do the sheep need?
Rus da Bus
Healthy Co-leader Relationships
To what famous partners would you compare you and your co-leader’s relationship? To Batman and Robin (leader and sidekick)? To Tom and Jerry (you try to kill each other)? To Romeo and Juliet (let’s hope not! Unless you’re married, but don’t try the poison thing)?
I want to challenge you to shoot for a Shaggy/Scooby Doo relationship with your co-leader. Not that you should be unusually scared of ghosts, eat epically long sandwiches, and jump into each other’s arms. And no, don’t accuse me of comparing girls to dogs.
Here are some marks of healthy co-leader relationships. Healthy co-leaders…
- Have a healthy friendship. They take time, in addition to preparation, to hear about what’s going on in each other’s lives and develop good chemistry that translates to good group chemistry.
- Make it a priority to meet together every week. They find a consistent meeting time to prepare so that they don’t have to rush through, but can both prepare and develop a healthy friendship.
- Eat lots of vegetables. Just kidding.
- Are equally prepared and equally invested in the group.
- Plan together to create fellowship opportunities for the group (whole group or smaller settings).
- Evaluate well. They discuss their thoughts on the progress of the group: what’s going well, what needs to improve.
Maybe the Shaggy/Scooby combo isn’t the best in the world, but it’ll do for now. How is your relationship will your co-leader going?
It just makes sense
About a month ago, I started leading an all-guys CG. As you know, anytime that you start a group, it’s important to give them some vision for the group, especially in the way of what to expect and what is expected from them. Going in, I knew that one of the main things I wanted to talk about was commitment. I know that’s one of the things that some of our groups struggle with the most…which means it’s even more important to cast vision for it from the beginning. Here’s something like what I said:
“There are 4 things that we want to happen in our group: Bible interaction, prayer, accountability, fellowship. Bible interaction: we want to study the Bible together and learn from the Word as we learn from each other. Prayer: we want to bear each other’s burdens as we lift up each other’s needs to God. Accountability: we want to love each other enough to not allow each other to be spiritually lazy as we work together towards spiritual growth. Fellowship: we want to live life together, knowing what’s going on in each other’s lives and taking friendships beyond a Tuesday night meeting.
Here’s what important; these 4 things (Bible interaction, prayer, accountability, and fellowship) are only beneficial if there’s commitment connected to them. We can’t truly hold each other to spiritual growth if we’re not committed. We can’t truly be a part of each other’s lives if we’re not committed. We would only be fooling ourselves. Our commitment needs to be not a reflection of our schedule as much as of our desire to live in Christian community. If this is something that we’re going to do, let’s do it well! With commitment comes an awesome experience, but if commitment lacks, we’re only hurting ourselves.”
I wasn’t sure how the guys would react to this; whether they would feel like it was a lot to ask, or whether they would have much of an opinion at all. However, they were completely on board. They wanted the benefits of Christian community. They wanted to know each other and to be known, to help each other towards spiritual growth. I was pumped.
Why do I tell you this? As I reflected upon all of this, I once again realized that expecting commitment just makes sense. Sometimes, as leaders, we feel awkward about mentioning it or calling people out, or we’re afraid they’ll take it the wrong way, or that they won’t see why it’s important. But in reality, it just makes sense. If we want a worthwhile experience in CG, commitment has to be the foundation.
Have you given your group this vision lately? Have you reminded them what potential could be actualized if commitment was a foundation? It’s important (even for groups that have been together a long time) to refresh their mindset from time to time. Maybe you need to remind your group of its purpose and its direction. It’s not weird, it just makes sense.
Feel free to comment!
Ryan
Helping Your Group through Sing
At Baylor, Sing is coming up at the beginning of next semester. For upperclassmen groups, Sing can be a threat to your group’s health if you ignore it or mishandle it. As a leader, it is important to know how to deal with students participating. Having participated in Sing last year, I hope I can offer some advice to you as a leader.
It will help you out to understand what is going on with Sing:
Sing is a big commitment: Practices are often 5 nights a week. Practices begin at the beginning of the spring semester, and the final performance is February 26th. Practices most commonly happen in the evening for 2 hrs and can start as early as 7 or as late as 10 (but earlier for most groups).
Most students have a love/hate relationship with Sing: they love doing it, but they eventually begin to get tired of so many practices, and become weary from the time commitment. Being in Sing can put strains on other aspects of life: classes, relationships, and other commitments.
As a leader, you should never cancel or miss your group because of Sing. If you need help figuring out how to explain this to a Sing chair, I’d be glad to help.
How should we approach Sing and participating students?
Face the fact that students in Sing may not be able to come to group every week. It’s probably not beneficial to try to convince your students to skip Sing to come to CG. If they are able and want to skip, they will. However, don’t be offended by anyone in your group who seems to not be able to make it…it’s not personal. They haven’t changed their view on CG, they’re just fulfilling their commitment to be at practice and aren’t able to make both happen.
ALWAYS be looking for ways to minister to your students in Sing (prayer, food)
Communicate to them that you want to support them through their busy time, and don’t lose touch with them even if you don’t see them. You don’t want them to feel like they’re out of the flow of the group when Sing is over.
Don’t make your students feel guilty. Odds are that they are already feeling some guilt about missing group. Support and encourage them instead.
If a majority of your group is participating, consider moving your time up (but don’t switch days) to accommodate them. Be careful not to move to a time where non-Singers can’t come…that’s not fair to them.
Separate from your group time, get your group together for a meal or quick hangout to continue group fellowship.
I’d encourage you to begin the conversation now by finding out who in your group will be in Sing and expressing to them that you are aware that life will be hectic and that as a group you intend to support and encourage them in this time.
Ryan
